I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
