Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
