i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
