I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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