Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize