But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Are my feet made of real feet?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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