I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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