We should be called the Road Head Warriors
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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