he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
