do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
