i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize