I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
