I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize