Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
