Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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