You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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