one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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