Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Randomize
