Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
