I'm lost and stupid without you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
