I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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