so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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