At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
