i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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