you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
