Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
