my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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