Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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