I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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