I got chris browned last night
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
