He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
