We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
