friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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