well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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