Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
