I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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