But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize