Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
