These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
