and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
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Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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