Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
