If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
