The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
