it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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