I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
