you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
