you guys were way drunker than both of me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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