so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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