It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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