90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.