we're blogging at a bar
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
