Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Where were you when I was single???

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Still in diapers.

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(416): View more from Ontario

She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now

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(314): View more from Missouri

I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night

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(509): View more from Washington

Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.

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(714): View more from California

I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?

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(207): View more from Maine

Testing the emergency boobs hotline

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