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I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He passed out mid-signature
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
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