Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.

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(828): he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art. http://tfl.nu/yesh

Replies (47) Good night (3101) Bad night (1511)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.

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(321): Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance. http://tfl.nu/ue6b

Replies (56) Good night (1374) Bad night (2394)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.

(732): View more from New Jersey

Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.

(862): View more from New Jersey

yet...

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(732): nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug. (732): Needless to say there is no second date for this girl. (862): yet... http://tfl.nu/och4

Replies (44) Good night (825) Bad night (6135)
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(303): View more from Colorado

My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.

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(303): My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks. http://tfl.nu/ug5h

Replies (16) Good night (1743) Bad night (3358)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Whats the count minus fat chicks?

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(810): Whats the count minus fat chicks? http://tfl.nu/9ldi

Replies (28) Good night (1181) Bad night (3785)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....

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(303): Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic.... http://tfl.nu/nllq

Replies (6) Good night (815) Bad night (3326)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now

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(615): took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now http://tfl.nu/5whe

Replies (7) Good night (1059) Bad night (2416)
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(512): View more from Texas

He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.

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(512): He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice. http://tfl.nu/cehn

Replies (7) Good night (864) Bad night (3112)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.

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(484): I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits. http://tfl.nu/dr6q

Replies (20) Good night (3554) Bad night (899)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

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(908): Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME http://tfl.nu/m336

Replies (18) Good night (2471) Bad night (601)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?

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(613): Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like? http://tfl.nu/rl24

Replies (8) Good night (1947) Bad night (693)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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(570): I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women. (570): You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force. http://tfl.nu/ij9q

Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (427)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"

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(203): If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am" http://tfl.nu/kogk

Replies (5) Good night (591) Bad night (1354)
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(309): View more from Illinois

He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

Again?

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(309): He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass. (1-309): Again? http://tfl.nu/q9t8

Replies (8) Good night (593) Bad night (1248)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.

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(506): Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals. http://tfl.nu/0nga

Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (178)

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