they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Sorry about my life...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
