Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
