Why does Corona taste like a burp?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
