Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
