He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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