Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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